Disgusting – that’s the impression we get from someone who is challenged to eat a slimy vegetable and swore she’ll never eat it again.
I’ve felt this many times with different people. If my ideals, the standards in my head, aren’t met, then to grow a relationship is pointless. They don’t get me anyway.
I struggle to accept people for who they are – their quirks, excuses, complaints, shortcomings. That doesn’t of course excuse my mistakes. Rather, projecting my ideals and intentions on others has been the problem. I spin justifications in my head of how people should be rather than who they actually are.
I’m confined by how people should act, how they should validate my opinions, and how they should treat me. This notion, I realized, has been shrinking my experience of the world.
To move past my preconceived notions, I realized I have to slowly break my ideals by starting anew – lay fresh eyes on the small details of my life. It’s like tasting bell pepper the third time then coming back surprised for having grown a palette.
Since adopting a beginner’s mind, I never thought that vegetables and spices would anchor the changes that is yet to happen. Ignorance turned into inclination. Ultimately, unless we change our minds – retaste that terrible vegetable, get to know that stranger, or give it another chance to know the people we already met, then interesting discoveries would only come to pass.
If we dare make sense of moments, the fleeting in-betweens of our lives, then we might reveal something magical. We can either let these moments annoy us, bug us down or let the simple inconveniences, irritations, or quirkiness be as they are.
Growing a palette is about contouring our mental walls, allowing space to shift our mind without a need for a sound reason, and coming back astonished.